I haven't posted anything in a while because I've been über busy with a lot of things. I'm trying to (slowly in a very procrastinated manner) get ready to go and see tons of people who all seem to be in town right now. Oh well. That's how things go.

For this post, I thought I'd dwell a bit on the year 2005. I have no huge complaints. I'm pretty content with the year. Nothing went as smoothly as it could have gone. But, everything has worked itself out in some manner or another. I got to see some spectacular and fun places, see people I'd never thought I'd see (friends I didn't imagine seeing so soon) and I really got to learn. I learned a lot in general. I have this perspective I built from all of the new people I got to meet this year. Through this, my tolerance and patience threshold was totally tested and expanded. Something that will (hopefully) pay off in 2006 is my willingness for adventure. I don't mean traveling to new places and climbing mountains (but, if someone came up to me with an all expenses paid trip to Nepal to climb around on the Himalaya's, I wouldn't say no!). I mean, my willingness to talk to new people, to do things by myself without relying on a 'friend to go with me' and my capacity for learning. They all play into each other. I guess I realized how much I learned from other people.

I remember hearing someone say that they were 'broke in an amazing way' by their experiences. I can't remember who said it, but I feel the same way. Some awful things happened this year and some really great things happened this year, and all I can say is that those experiences and people broke me in an amazing way. I'm different, better and stronger because of it. And, frankly...that's all a girl can ask for.

Good luck to all in the New Year!

I've tried to write a post for the past week and I just can't seem to do it. I have things to write about, I just never seem to get them down. So, yesterday I went wedding dress shopping with L. She's getting married next year and I am one of her bridesmaids, so I thought I'd go with for moral support and as a trusted critic. It was quite a day. I must say that after that experience, I never want to get married. I couldn't believe the fear that seeped into my bones when I stepped into the first bridal shop and saw hundreds of white dresses. I still can't believe the number of white dresses that exist. I cannot also believe that they cost so much. They're just white dresses, you know. So, L. tried on something like 20 of them and I must congratulate her. I don't know what I would do if I was here. I don't like shopping for shoes, pants or anything. Anything I deem necessary in owning tend to be items that are not fun to shop for. I don't like the pressure of deciding which pair of black shoes to buy because there are so many and I know that the day after I wear those new black shoes, I'll see another pair which I like even better. Wedding dresses, however, are a much bigger commitment. This is something you are going to have burned into your memory as well as pictures, which will hang on your wall forever. If you make a bad decision, you will regret that stupid dress forever. Everyone should just elope.

I've also been thinking about this job offer for about a week. It, like a wedding dress, is a big decision. I don't know what to do...but I'll have to make a decision in the next day or two. And, I can only hope it's a good decision. Or, a good decision for me right now. I don't like making bad decisions, I don't like regret and I don't like having to make the best out of my own bad decisions. Ah... Wish me a world of luck and intuition. I'll need it.

I really like the song 'Everything I Own' by Dan Wilson right now. I listened to it and immediately liked it. It sounded like a song I'd heard before, but haven't. I feel like singing along with it, but don't know the words yet.

So, tomorrow I should find out about the job. A few weeks ago I was in California interviewing for this job, and now they want to make me an offer. The problem for me is that I've never negotiated an offer. I'm such a rookie; all I know how to do is fake it and hope for the best. For the most part, I just need to remind myself that I will cross bridges when I come to them. At the same time, it's best to have a plan. So, I asked some of my friends last night about how they negotiated their contracts. I'm glad I asked because they gave me a few things to think about and be ready for. So, we'll see what happens. It could be very interesting and exciting...or awful...perhaps all of that... Worst case scenerio? I end up staying put...right here for a bit longer until I fashion some sort of new plan.

It snowed again yesterday and today it was cold. Really cold. Something like 5 degrees. And, I realize it can and has gotten colder than that, but it doesn't make it any more pleasant to endure. Whenever it gets this cold here I have to wonder why I never moved to a warmer state. It would only be logical, right?

* This is what a pug looks like when it gets dangerously close to the lens.

I went to E.'s for a second Thanksgiving. I had my first Thanksgiving with my parents on Thursday, but it was rather uneventful as it was only my parents and myself. Oh well. Anyway, it was fun to see E. again and it was fun to be around her family because they're just so funny. I can only remember one of the memorable phrases from the evening...her mom said to E.'s sister, 'What? Do my slippers intimidate you?' One of the memorable events of the night was when E's sister and boyfriend ended up head-butting each other when grabing for a spoon in a rousing game of well, Spoons. E.'s boyfriend also cut his finger during that game and refused to put an Elmo band aid on it.

* No purpose for this picture. The bird made me post it. It swears it doesn't have the flu.

So yes. Exciting week. I went to California for about 26 hours and came back. I did some maddening volunteer work, which will go far more efficiently when I begin work on it at home. And, I did a little work at my craptacular job. But, today was my last day, so that's an upside. Next week should be a whole new week of exciting. I start a new temp job, interview (again for the 5th time, this time in German!) for a job, and see some friends. Huzzah! What more could a girl ask for? (Hello!?! A spectacular job offer, five dollars and conversation!)

So yes. California. Imagine me on the 101 in a rental mini-van. Ha. It actually turned out ok. I didn't hit, ding or hurt anyone. I did however exploit that mother-f#cker, but that's what rentals are for, right? I drove around for an hour just because I didn't have to be at the airport for a while. And, the manner in which I drove it...well, lets just say I wouldn't let anyone near my car if I knew they would drive it like that. I just hope the company pays for that hour of mileage...otherwise, I'll just tell them I got lost or something. My excuse is I've never been to California before.

The interview. This time it was in person. And, it was 4 hours long. After 3 phone 'conversations,' an interview and an upcoming/pending phone interview in German, I had better have a good shot at this job...and a kick-ass offer, too. Otherwise, this is the nastiest joke to play on someone. Frankly, after one of the interviewers told me that they have free coffee in the morning at the coffee shop when you walk in (it's like your very own person Caribou, if you will...for free!), I fell in love with the company. We're talking that 'I'll stalk you, look you up on the internet, call you on the phone just to hear you answer' kind of love. Or at least, those of you with caffeine addictions could understand this. So, now that I've talked about the company and the job...I'm sure I've jinxed it. Great. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

I saw 'Walk The Line' last night and I loved it. It's the kind of movie where you walk out of the theatre and want to learn how to play the guitar so you can go on the road and tour. In the movie, Joaquin makes you love him- and well, frankly he's so captivating it's hard not to love him. But, the point being Johnny and June had this pure love with each other, which most of us hope to one day stumble upon.

The funny thing, in watching the movie was that I didn't realize how many songs I recognized of Cash's music. I guess my parents and grandparents played his music my whole life, and I just never realized who it was singing.

If you liked that movie about Elvis that they always play on VH1, which my mom has watched over and over again, you'll love this movie.

So, I'm at this point where I'm not sure if I'm suppose to 'go ahead and make a leap...live life to the fullest...' or, if I should be a bit more cautious in hope of a bitter 'pay-off' later. I do not like making decisions when the decision is very difficult, has a high failure rate and can only in the end kick me in the ass. I suppose some of my decisions have kicked me in the ass anyway, but in my upcoming decision, I'm feeling pretty shaky. E. told me that I can't sit and wait around for something bad to happen just so I can justify not going. At the same time, if I go...and something bad does happen, I'll feel the wrath of it even if it is only the weight of my guilt.

I'm vague about my situation right now because I'm not sure what is going to happen. I'm not sure if I'll have the opportunity to go anywhere, yet. Well, not until the end of the week, at least. So, I'll continue to be vague...because that is how it is my friend.

The one thing I am sure of, at this very second, is coffee. There is a coffee shop near Macalester where you can get a bottomless cup of good coffee. You can sit there, drink your coffee and feel as bohemian or urban as you want to. And, their fries are pretty darn good, too. I just wished I lived a bit closer to it now. I also wish I was an exchange student studying somewhere in the world. When I am abroad, I feel more a part of the world we're all living in than when I am here at home. I feel as if I accomplish more and am somehow more interesting as a person. Well, there's aways graduate school...

Clinton was good. I'm sure he's heard that before. And, I can now attest to it.

But, really. I had an entertaining evening listening to Clinton's ideas on the world and I really appreciate the manner in which he explains himself. He is able to explain what he thinks in a simple way. My favorite comment of the night went something like this: 'It's easier to kick down a barn than it is to build one.'

On another note, I can say I'm proud to live in the Twin Cities now because of The Current. The Current has become my favorite radio station and I listen to it almost all day and night. They play everything I like, but would never hear on the radio like Sondre Lerche. And, they play tons of other stuff that I've never heard of, but love like the $20 you didn't know you had but find in your pocket when you're broke. You can listen to it online too, so look it up. It's a Minnesota Public Radio station.

Clinton. Yes, Clinton. He's coming to Minnesota and I have a ticket to see him this Saturday. I got my friend up at 7am a couple of weeks ago to stand in line and wait for tickets. She couldn't believe I got her up at 7am on her birthday to stand in a line and wait for a ticket when she could have been sleeping instead. But, I was pretty serious. He's become such an icon in American politics, he's just someone I'd like to see in person. Well, in person with hundreds of other people.
I was at the mall yesterday because my Dad was interested in seeing something at the craft fair there. Well, no luck. No craft fair. So, he went to Sears and checked out snowblowers and I wondered why in the world anyone would put Christmas decorations up on Halloween. The mall was already prepared for Christmas on Halloween. I remember, back in the day...you know...a few years ago when Christmas started around Thanksgiving. The unofficial rule was that you began preparing for the following holiday slightly before or after the preceding holiday had passed. Apparently, this rule was thrown out and you can prepare for any holiday you please as long as it is no more than 11 months before the holiday actually arrives...

Upside down

I haven't posted in a while. I'm such a slacker. But, I swear I'm not...well...not all of the time. So, I'm still applying and interviewing. I've got *fingers crossed* another interivew coming up, hopefully next week. And, I think I really want this particular job. I don't even want to speak much about it in fear of jinxing it. So, I'll lay off until they've either embraced me with both arms or have shunned me.

I am, however, more tempted to go to grad school than ever. It just feels right. Maybe it just feels safe, which seems like the same thing sometimes. I'll give it some more thought.

So, I got to talk to a German diplomat recently, which was a neat situation. I asked him about the EU Constitution (and ratification) and UN reform, and he actually seemed slightly impressed I thought to ask about UN reform. So, I was then, of course, impressed with myself for having asked. But, his answer showed me why I don't think I could ever be a diplomat. I don't have enough self-control for that kind of position. He was his title; I mean, he answered as any diplomat would- diplomatically. I remember talking to this assistant to a US diplomat a few months ago and I had an inkling of the same thing. She said it's one thing to have your opinions, but it's another to be in a position where you represent an entire nation even though you're not representing your opinions. It's not like we've all never been in that situation, though. So, I understand it. I just don't know if I could do it since politics and international affairs is such an important topic for me. I mean, if it came down to cosmetic preferences, damn...I could two-face about that forever. Not exactly a topic for me.

I've had some time, lately, to read up on Korea and Korean politics and this issue is such a red hot button topic for me. I really do not understand why Korean politics have taken such a back seat for 50 years in the US despite the clear messages, which need attention. I'm going to leave this topic as it is for now. I need to finish up quite a bit of reading to really form a conclusion about it. But, in comparison to many of the issues present (and which were on the forefront) in politics in the US, the Koreas should have made more of a blip on the radar and should have make more positive diplomatic headway by now.

"All I really need is 5 Dollars...All I really need is conversation..." -Tim Mahoney

It was a good show last night. I forgot I liked him. I saw Tim Mahoney last night because my friend had an extra ticket. You see, the ticket came from our manic U2 obsession. U2 came to Minneapolis and the two of us didn't have tickets. We did, however, (and still do...) think we deserved to win tickets considering we're awesome people. So, the two of us sat in front of our computers with telephones at our sides, listening to the radio. We were waiting for the contests on two different radio stations so we could call in and win tickets. Well, it didn't pan out. I did get through a few lines, but I wasn't the winning caller. So, the next day my friend went downtown to the U2 pre-party one of the radio stations was having and tried to win tickets. At this point, I was sick of the radio so I did something else. I can't remember what. Anyway, she didn't win the U2 tickets, but she did get two tickets for Tim Mahoney. All in all, a good deal because she ended up winning an mp3 player last night at the concert.

I watched Far and Away a few weeks ago. It's that movie with Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise (pre-divorce) and they're new Irish immigrants in the US around the turn of the century. I've seen the movie before. Sure. But, it was only this particular time when I noticed the accents. Before they get too far into the story, they're in Ireland and not everyone is speaking with an Irish accent. One guy has an American accent, others have fake Irish accents and others still have English accents when they're all suppose to be Irish. I couldn't even watch the movie; I was too distracted.

* I have no reason for this picture. I just like it. I took it and I might as well show it to people. It's Dubrovnik, Croatia...beautiful, eh? Well, it was.
Perhaps, my career path should be something in the area of 'wedding planner.' I'm not saying I want to do that right now, but within the next five years, I'll be ready. You see, I am learning a hell of a lot about weddings right now between all of the people I know. And, I'd say in about 5 years, I will be more or less done with my 'praxis phase' of learning and experiencing weddings, that I could be ready to plan them for others. Huh. I'll have to think about that one. My not-so-back-up-plan is to get my graduate degree while serving in the Peace Corps. It seems like a neat idea. You learn and then put it to good use. Practical. I'm going to give that a bit more thought. I had looked into it a bit already, but I'll look a bit more into it. Make sure it's the right commitment for me. I mean, I want to get a graduate degree...I've always thought about doing work through the Peace Corps...and, I'd like to actually put my knowledge to work. Again, practical.

* Come to MN and see our historic and famous...uh...food?

Today I had lunch with J. and two relatively new international students from Germany. The funny thing was that everything we showed them on the way to and from lunch was, well, food establishments. If it wasn't a bakery it was a cafe or a restaurant. I'm sure we've got some really great historic and famous sites that have nothing to do with food, but we didn't run into any. Oh wait...I did point out a cafe where Bob Dylan was rumored to have played at back in the day. But, then again, it was a cafe.

I contrast this with my first day in Mainz, Germany: 'Here you have the famous Carnival Fountain, the Cathedral, the Gutenburg Museum...'

* At least I haven't bought it on DVD...

Confession time:

I don't exactly know how this happened. But, I have picked up some crazy habits in the past few months. The scariest of all of my habits is my new found -dare I say- obsession with the show Gilmore Girls. I have no idea where this came from. I mean, if I'm going down, I'm bringing Nancy down with me. We both found ourselves watching it this summer. Now, I suddenly have this need to see the season premiere tonight. This only goes to show how badly I need to be employeed.

My other new habit is listening to the Pogues. I am quite proud of this new habit. I don't know if it is so much a habit as it is good taste in music. There is nothing like going for a run while hearing a jig in your ear...'lend me 10 Pounds and I'll buy you a drink...'

The third habit is more of a hobby. I am trying to work on a scrap book with some of the random photos I have laying around from last year. I've got all of the supplies sitting around and work on it sporatically at the most.

Fourthly...out of necessity...I apply for jobs like a fiend. This has almost become hobby-like. I search...I apply... So goes it.

I think I need a new hobby.

Honey, I'm home!
It was about time I admitted and declared I was home. So, here it is. I am in Minnesota.

A year ago today I was on a plane from Washington, DC to Frankfurt, Germany. Unbelievable. Time flies...whether you're having fun or not. I'll be the first to admit that I had a good time in Germany, but it wasn't all roses. And, I am yet greatful for every moment. I was able to spend a year learning, thinking and meeting some amazing friends who taught and brought me once again to think.

So, what am I going to do now? I have no idea. But, I do know I need to think big and see where that takes me.

Someone famous once took the time to say that 'Life is a journey,' so I'm up for the adventure. Why not?

Dubrovnik...
Hey I'm in Croatia. Those are not words I thought I would be saying, but I made it here and am having a good time. I can't write long, only a minute or two left on my computer here at the net cafe. But, I just wanted to give N. a shout out...Happy Birthday! Have a good one and I'll see you soon!

About Dubrovnik...everyone should try and visit if they can. It's really pretty, but unfortanently touristy... More later!

Stars and Stripes, Darling.
Hey y'all! I just wanted to wish you all a great 4th of July weekend! I am leaving for Poland tomorrow. I'm hoping to have a good time. Everything seems really bittersweet for me right now. Yesterday I had my last day at work and everyone was so nice. I made blueberry muffins, apple muffins and brownies and everyone was all about them. Brownies and muffins are kind of a rarety here...just like bagels. But, there was no way I was going to make bagels. Anyway, I was baking like a fiend on Wednesday night and that was awful because the confederations cup was on and I was trying to watch the game and bake at the same time. It was Germany vs. Mexico and I totally missed the whole game. Germany won, but the game looked really good. It went into over time with an end score of 4-3. Anyway, last day at work. The department gave me a card, a Guttenburg coffee mug, a copy of the smallest book in the world and a German book by Carl Zuckmeyer (I think that's right...) who was from Mainz. So, it was so sweet. The saddest part was saying goodbye to the guy who always calls me 'darling' and 'dear.' He looked so sad and was the only one to give me a hug yesterday. He was so sweet and said that if I am able to get a job in Germany, I should give him a call and that we should hang out. So, after I turned in my security badge and said one last goodbye to my boss, I walked out the door and seriously didn't get more than 5ft. from the building and I started crying. I cried all the way to the bus stop. But, it's fine. I'm going out tonight with the other interns, and then I'll get up early tomorrow to catch the train and meet Carlos and Elaine in Köln...and then, off to Krakow. See you all later! (Oh yeah...I still have yet to buy my ticket to Minneapolis. Sorry.)

Rotkohl in a bowl.
So, I am going to Poland this weekend. Well, here's how it all goes down. Last Thursday night I went up to Bonn for a friend's birthday party and Errol and Maura were like 'Hey, want to go to Poland?' Basically. So, between a few emails, text messages and a phone call...we're going to Krakow. So, Maura, Errol, Carlos and I will be hanging out there...reflecting on..everything, I guess.

Come to think about it...we're a pretty rowdy bunch when you put us all together because we just play off of each other so well. The four of us are going to cause some damage, I'm afraid. I guess, that's ok. It will be a nice and crazy 5 days...and, if Maura gets a hold of the apartment she wanted to rent for the week...I'm sure it will be even crazier.

My last day of work is Thursday. Wish me luck! I can't believe I actually made it. I was so sure during those first few months that they were just going to fire me right there on the spot for...whatever...anything. But, for some reason, I guess it worked out. Well, perhaps they got enough worth out of exploiting my english skills. Who knows.

Ahhh....I don't want to leave Germany!

I did talk to Adam last night and he said I could stay with him in NYC...so, I will probably be taking him up on his offer. Well, its a tri-fold reason, really. A. Flights are cheaper to come by if I wait a few days and then fly to mpls. B. I haven't seen Adam in a while and would like to catch up. C. I've never been to NYC before and I quite frankly need a good shock to the system of American-ness before I land in mpls. Otherwise, the next time you'll see me is curled up on the floor in a ball with a bowl of Rotkohl...ha. Actually, sounds kinda good.

Ok. I'll finish up my last couple weeks worth of stories some other time. But, there was a good one of one of the Techie interns making me feel stupid. Stupid Techie intern. Not a bad story, though.

Bread, a simple thing in life.
So... Last time I left off, I was somewhere in the very west of Ireland...on the Atlantic coast. The best comment I can say to sum up my experience there was I was the closest to home I've felt since I landed in August. I was staying with Rhea who I already knew and adore and I was on the coast of the Atlantic, which means I was as close, geographically, to home as I could have been.

So, Rhea's family has this dog, which can open the front door by itself. Does anyone else think that is amazing, or what? The dog can let itself out when it has to. Simple. Well, not so simple. The dog cannot shut the door behind him, so it just stands there open until someone else closes it. Cats who act like dogs are really the best cats out there. My Michael for example, will go out walking on a leash. Therefore, he is apart of this elite group I am referring to. Well, the dog that opens his own door also has a cat companion who thinks he's a dog. The funny part is that this cat knows what's up. If the cat wants to go outside, he gets the dog to open the door for him. I watched it myself.

Now, my whole experience of visiting Rhea makes me want to know more about and love Ireland. However, the same experience made me not like Dublin. Dublin is just like any big city. I didn't feel as if I could ever have any sort of connection or affinity towards it. I did the Guinness thing and got out. That was frankly enough for me. I would rather spend time in other cities or areas there. But, that's my humble, but forward opinion.

Andrea and I decided not to spring for a hostel our last night in Dublin since our plane left at 7am. So, we stayed up and walked around Dublin until 1am. At that point I really had enough of the city. We did find this awesome cafe near Trinity (I think...I'm not sure how far we had wandered away from there) called Kafe Mokka or something like that. Andrea and I sat around there for an hour journaling and I ordered a Chai. It wasn't the best I've ever had, and not the worst... the atmosphere made up for any failures of the beverage. We go to the Airport sometime around 2am. We were in good company because everyone at the airport looked just like us...young, packs in toe, tired. At that point I organized my disheveled bag and then took a nap on it. But, every hour I woke up to the airport announcement saying I should watch out for my bag and not leave it unattended. As with any good traveler (hitchhiker), I remembered to bring a towel. Andrea basically kept watch out because she was actually able to sleep on all the various transportation we had used since arriving in the country and I packed my towel in and around my head. Oh, one quick point...Andrea and I bought a package of cheddar cheese and at the whole thing. You see, cheddar is not common in Germany. One cannot go to the grocery store and simply buy a package of cheddar. Gouda, yes...Brie, yes...Cheddar, no.

We arrived in Berlin on Tuesday morning...a warm (finally, thank goodness!) morning and took the Bahn to our hotel. We dropped off our stuff, ran into someone we knew and went to KaDeWe (Kaufhaus Des Westes). It is the 2nd largest department store in Europe behind Harrods. What a privilege it is to say I have now been to both. Wow. How pathetic. But, we went up to the food halls on the top floor and sampled everything we could sample. (We're still in starving student mode!) The day went along and we started our seminar that afternoon.

I'll get more into what I did in Berlin later...as well as my quick road trip with friends to Dresden. As for my evening tonight, I am going to Bonn to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Hopefully, it will be a good time. I’ve heard the pub we’re going to makes Irish Brown Bread, my new favorite bread!